I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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