strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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