I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
