I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
