dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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