I'm really into asian looking animals
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize