scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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