Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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