She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
