I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
