Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
