I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
