At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
