i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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