Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
