In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
