What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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