so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
