It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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