Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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