I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
