if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
