ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
