Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
