Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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