Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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