Texts From Last Night

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  (469): View more from Texas

  Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick

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  (469): Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick http://tfl.nu/zqfp
  Replies (34) Good night (1308) Bad night (5556)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls

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  (772): bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls http://tfl.nu/txmo
  Replies (58) Good night (2442) Bad night (7991)
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  (909): View more from California

  it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines

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  (909): it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines http://tfl.nu/1cpi
  Replies (9) Good night (1451) Bad night (2661)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...

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  (413): I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM... http://tfl.nu/mwn4
  Replies (32) Good night (6999) Bad night (1285)
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  (650): View more from California

  We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.

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  (650): We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag. http://tfl.nu/1x8m
  Replies (19) Good night (1422) Bad night (5259)
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  (510): View more from California

  Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.

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  (510): Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight. http://tfl.nu/a7yq
  Replies (24) Good night (5249) Bad night (1070)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text

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  (503): i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text http://tfl.nu/7lw4
  Replies (5) Good night (4846) Bad night (885)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient

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  (479): Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient http://tfl.nu/pvik
  Replies (5) Good night (804) Bad night (1381)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.

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  (917): He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat. http://tfl.nu/cst7
  Replies (6) Good night (1427) Bad night (569)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES

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  (262): PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES http://tfl.nu/1xjy
  Replies (6) Good night (1107) Bad night (406)
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  (619): View more from California

  Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts

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  (619): Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts http://tfl.nu/wt8n
  Replies (4) Good night (531) Bad night (916)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.

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  (928): Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week. http://tfl.nu/3dmv
  Replies (6) Good night (1467) Bad night (395)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.

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  (978): You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/pq6k
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (348)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library

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  (630): when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library http://tfl.nu/iddb
  Replies (5) Good night (333) Bad night (447)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit

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  (403): Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit http://tfl.nu/zv0h
  Replies (6) Good night (293) Bad night (677)

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