she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
