There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love