She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.