Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing

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  (414): honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing http://tfl.nu/5ke6
  Replies (17) Good night (4000) Bad night (693)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.

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  (404): Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/i4q7
  Replies (15) Good night (4462) Bad night (893)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist

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  (703): How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist http://tfl.nu/hzre
  Replies (51) Good night (24452) Bad night (1804)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position

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  (+44): i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position http://tfl.nu/45mu
  Replies (9) Good night (889) Bad night (3082)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.

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  (587): The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll. http://tfl.nu/pn3x
  Replies (19) Good night (2794) Bad night (917)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.

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  (509): Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested. http://tfl.nu/8mit
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (1443)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos

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  (518): Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos http://tfl.nu/5fyh
  Replies (2) Good night (2116) Bad night (837)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.

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  (812): last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out. http://tfl.nu/4jcj
  Replies (5) Good night (1094) Bad night (517)
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  (760): View more from California

  Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.

  (818): View more from California

  Because it is cat.

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  (760): Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use. (818): Because it is cat. http://tfl.nu/tbfo
  Replies (9) Good night (1594) Bad night (590)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  "just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.

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  (651): "just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk. http://tfl.nu/ji17
  Replies (6) Good night (960) Bad night (465)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?

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  (774): I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex (603): College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh? http://tfl.nu/q4kf
  Replies (1) Good night (828) Bad night (269)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot

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  (301): The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot http://tfl.nu/zrh0
  Replies (0) Good night (602) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.

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  (613): Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived. http://tfl.nu/meie
  Replies (5) Good night (1442) Bad night (310)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"

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  (717): They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail" http://tfl.nu/whag
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (351)
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  (562): View more from California

  I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.

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  (562): I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk. http://tfl.nu/qs07
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (207)

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