i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office