i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
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An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked