if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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