apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
