i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
