Already got asked if we're dating
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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