I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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