Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
