if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
