so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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