I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
