if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
