i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
