So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
