in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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