im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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