What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
