So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
