i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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