I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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