I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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