i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
