I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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