Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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