We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
