I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize