She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just want nice things and good sex
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
