the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
