I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
