Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
