I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and she was petting her beer can
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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