"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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