what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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