All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
