Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
