Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

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(406): I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea. http://tfl.nu/bq8d

Replies (7) Good night (1622) Bad night (690)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

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(508): I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day http://tfl.nu/qyf0

Replies (30) Good night (3866) Bad night (1011)
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(819): View more from Quebec

its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger

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(819): its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger http://tfl.nu/0bs6

Replies (10) Good night (3827) Bad night (813)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

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(605): remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones http://tfl.nu/3i5q

Replies (16) Good night (1178) Bad night (4357)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.

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(413): The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again. http://tfl.nu/v6ko

Replies (19) Good night (7963) Bad night (1363)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."

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(678): Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages." http://tfl.nu/1o45

Replies (24) Good night (1680) Bad night (14446)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.

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(416): Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing. http://tfl.nu/2fe4

Replies (18) Good night (2359) Bad night (2794)
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(330): View more from Ohio

he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.

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(330): he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present. http://tfl.nu/lnnv

Replies (5) Good night (2124) Bad night (1086)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.

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(412): He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to. (412): Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali. http://tfl.nu/ulfo

Replies (9) Good night (2268) Bad night (721)
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(406): View more from Montana

You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt

(1-406): View more from Montana

That literally makes no sense

(406): View more from Montana

Exactly

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(406): You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt (1-406): That literally makes no sense (406): Exactly http://tfl.nu/db6l

Replies (7) Good night (2154) Bad night (695)
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(530): View more from California

Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?

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(530): Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning? http://tfl.nu/vtt9

Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (1281)
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(+61): View more from Australia

For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...

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(+61): For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up... http://tfl.nu/ld08

Replies (0) Good night (509) Bad night (897)
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(817): View more from Texas

We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden

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(817): We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden http://tfl.nu/u7tp

Replies (11) Good night (1982) Bad night (608)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS

(808): View more from Hawaii

That's me emphasizing the ridiculous

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(808): RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS (808): That's me emphasizing the ridiculous http://tfl.nu/j8gk

Replies (1) Good night (753) Bad night (305)
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(+61): View more from Australia

After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"

(1+61): View more from

I don't know if I want context or not...

(+61): View more from Australia

Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.

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(+61): After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort" (1+61): I don't know if I want context or not... (+61): Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5. http://tfl.nu/jpk3

Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (516)

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