It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
