if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.