I heard we made out
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman