Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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