He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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