nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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