So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
