I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
