I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
